Surgery preparation is in full swing!! Restaurants, drinking with friends, house reorganization — the list is long!
I awoke this morning in a haze. I hadn’t slept well, again, due to pain and general non-exertion. I tell people in all seriousness that my anti-anxiety and anti-depressant cocktail of meds aren’t tuned for “inactive Melissa”. I had nightmares during my fitful hours of sleep, and when they’re at their worst they always take the low road, invoking memories of my shitty childhood. The general theme usually involves something near and dear to me being taken away at the last second, and my childhood self spends the rest of the nightmare frantically trying to put my world back in Read More
I’ve dubbed my Garmin Vivosmart HR my “anti-fitness” tracker. I use the step count as kind of a quota or a warning system for when I’m doing too much. It alarms me every 2500 steps, and I go on high alert if I ever get the 2nd alarm in a day.
I don’t have news. I naively was hoping for news today, but nope. Instead I’ll ramble about my fragile emotional state. 😉 But first, I’ll update about anything I DO know.
Apparently I’ll be in a world of hurt after spine surgery. I can expect a multi-day hospital stay, AND my doctor has stressed more than once that I will be in so much pain for the first three weeks after surgery I’ll want him dead.
I’ve decided to proceed with surgery to fix the isthmic spondylolisthesis. This post better explains what in the heck is wrong with me and will cover what the doc plans to do during surgery.
I’m still supposed to try and spend 20 hours a day on my back, so I’ve had to do a lot of re-prioritization lately —
more time with the kiddo, less cleaning, and more forced relaxation!
The words come at night, when I can’t sleep. I can’t sleep mostly because I can’t exercise, and I haven’t yet given in to always taking sleep meds, and my body hurts and my brain chatters and hums along at night.